The Upside Of Divorce
Yesterday I stood in the security line at Tampa Worldwide Airport, sporting socks that did not match and holding my footwear in my hand like an idiot. The lady in front of me was having trouble getting her oversized carseat/stroller/Hyundai (What the hell IS that thing?) to go through the x-ray machine, thereby making it needed for me to stand ceaselessly in entrance of a really tall man who I do know was staring down at my bald spot.
Lastly, we were all herded through like heiffers, and i collected my clothes and sat down to tug myself together. After double checking that I had every part, (one time I was so anxious to get to the Nathan’s scorching canine kiosk, I used to be halfway through a dog with kraut earlier than I realized I left my entire bag at security) I made my approach to Gate A-9 the place I was lastly able to sit down and collect my thoughts.
I was on my way to Chicago to satisfy up with my boyfriend, (partner? What can we name these midlife loves of ours that aren’t spouses?) who had been there a number of days on enterprise. I was coming for a horror movie t shirts 4xl weekend of fabulous buying, intimate dinners and beef sandwiches with extra peppers — one thing you may solely eat with a person you’re feeling completely comfortable with, the same one that is aware of you might be wearing SPANX under your skinny denims, and completely would not care.
Just a few years again, during my divorce, when you had told me I could be flying to Chicago to stay with a man who was not my husband, I would have checked out you open mouthed with disbelieving eyes, much the best way I appeared when i heard that Ashton Kutcher would be replacing Charlie Sheen in Two and a Half Men. (This can’t be happening, for God’s sake just cancel the rattling thing.) Seized by concern and unable to think about anything completely different, I needed the same man I had been with for the last 27 years. As a result of without that man to call my husband, then who the hell am I? What do I inform the mechanic at Toyota, the cable man making an attempt to get me to improve our HBO package deal, the lady at the financial institution calling me to supply us a candy refinancing deal on our mortgage if not, “I must examine with my husband?” If there is no such thing as a husband, then I am no wife, and therefore, I’m nothing.
Now we all know, a total load of crap, right? Because if I had not gotten divorced, chances are high that immediately, instead of getting ready to stroll the glitzy streets of Chicago with my greatest pal and yes, associate within the true sense of the phrase, I could be heading to the dry cleaners to pick up a freshly laundered stack of hubby’s gown shirts, (extra starch-on hangers, not folded) before heading to Pier One to pick new placemats for my tennis luncheon. Instead of working on a ebook that I do know in my heart will sometime be printed (simply bought an agent!) and perhaps even made right into a film, fulfilling my final life’s purpose of assembly Meryl Streep, I would be picking up his cholesterol meds and scheduling his hair appointments — things I did willingly and happily, nonetheless perhaps not probably the most fulfilling way for me to spend my fifties.
Every day once i sit myself down in my home office with my lovely Z Gallerie white laminate desk and massive orange throw pillows, I activate my laptop, and earlier than I even write one word I say a silent “Thank you,” to my ex. Had it not been for his need to take his life down a special path, I may still be on the identical highway, which had served me properly for many years, however only went in a single route. I fought it kicking and screaming, (and drunk texting) however in the long run it was right for me.
For those of you going by it now, sure it’s scary and sure it’s sad, but NO the world won’t end. In reality, I hate to be cliche, however your world is about to open up and for those who let yourself open up with it, there is no telling what you’ll find down there deep inside yourself. Maybe it is a artistic passion that has been simmering, but never brought to floor, or perhaps a expertise that will now begin to bloom. Maybe your financial scenario will change and you may even be pressured to work outside the home for the first time. Scary, however who knows what you will learn, who you will meet? If you discover one other associate to share your life with-great, or perhaps you select to go it alone, that is great too. Don’t be afraid. Yes, with divorce life goes to alter and issues will never be the identical. Trust me when i let you know that therein lies the magnificence.